Please join me for a radio interview discussing my book ”Dance in the Rain” with Kathryn Bonner.
Monday
Nov 9, 2009
9 AM Moutain, 10 Central
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/kathryn-bonner
Please join us!
Blessings
Angela
I am honored to be hosting a blog stop for a new book that is out by Robert Kelleman and Susan Ellis, for their new book, “Sacred Friendships.” Here’s a portion of our interview. PLEASE grab a copy of this book!
1. Tell us a little bit about yourself.
Bob: I’ve been married for twenty-eight years to my college sweetheart, Shirley. Shirley and I have two young adult children. Josh is twenty-four and married to Andi, and is in law school in Washington State. Marie is twenty-one and is a college senior at Purdue, majoring in chemistry, and lives at home with us in Crown Point, Indiana.
I graduated with my BA in Pastoral Ministry from Baptist Bible College in Clarks Summit, PA. I earned my Th.M. in Theology and Biblical Counseling from Grace Seminary in Winona Lake, IN. I have my Ph.D. in Counselor Education from Kent State University. I’m also a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor (LCPC).
I pastored three churches in Ohio and Maryland. In two of those churches I was an Associate Pastor focused on counseling and equipping. I also have served as a Sr. Pastor. For over a dozen years I was Chairman of the Master of Arts in Christian Counseling and Discipleship Department at Capital Bible Seminary. I am now the Professor-at-Large for that program.
I am also the Director of the Biblical Counseling and Spiritual Formation Network (BCSFN) for the American Association of Christian Counselors (AACC). Our vision is to equip people to use God’s Word to help God’s people to grow in Christlikeness. In my role as Founder and CEO of RPM Ministries (www.rpmminstries.org) I write, speak, and consult about Christ-centered, comprehensive, compassionate, and culturally-informed biblical counseling and spiritual formation.
In all my spare time, I coach high school wrestling, play in a men’s softball league, run daily, love sci-fi, and am a life-long diehard Chicago Cubs fan.
Susan: I’ve been married to my wonderful husband, Paul, for 25 years. We have two children. Samantha, our youngest, is with the Lord. Our son, Paul, is married to Kristen and they have a beautiful toddler, Jocelyn, whom I adore. My mom lives with us along with our 80+ pound mutt, Daisy.
I have a B.A. in Psychology from the University of Maryland. Then I waited 17 years before going back to school to get my M.A. in Christian Counseling and Discipleship (MACCD) from Capital Bible Seminary (CBS) in Lanham, MD. I started working in the MACCD department the week I started classes. I wore many hats at CBS, including Women’s Mentor, Adunct Professor in the Women’s Concentration, Academic Advisor, Director of MACCD Student Services, and Department Coordinator.
Prior to returning to school, I was a counselor and the Director of Development at an area pregnancy center. At the local church level I’ve been on leadership teams for Discipleship, Moms, Women’s, Counseling, and Retreat Ministries; provided lay counselor training; and ministered through speaking at women’s events. Most recently, I have launched Eternal Community (www.EternalCommunity.org), a ministry devoted to equipping, empowering, and encouraging professional counselors, the clergy, and lay men and women in the art of biblical counseling, discipleship, and spiritual formation through writing, speaking, and consulting. I also partner with RPM Ministries.
When I’m not working, I love hanging out with my family. I also enjoy traveling, gardening, scrapbooking, skiing, horseback riding, and sometimes I even enjoy cooking.
2. You also examined in Sacred Friendships Susannah Wesley, Margaret Baxter, Sarah Edwards, and Susannah Spurgeon. What were their ministries like?
Though each woman was unique and special in her own right, they shared in common “feminine encouragement.” They expressed the gentle strength that en-courages—that plants the seeds of courageous resilience into the soil of souls ready to wilt.
Susannah Spurgeon’s ministry to her discouraged husband, Charles H. Spurgeon captures such encouragement. Pastor Spurgeon faced vicious criticism throughout his ministry and it often led to severe bouts of self-doubt and spiritual depression.
Susannah’s biographer, Charles Ray, in The Life of Susannah Spurgeon, extols her life-giving words. “When the storms of abuse and slander broke on her loved one’s head, she might well have been crushed and broken, but she bore up and by her words of comfort, her strong affection and her piety and faith, helped him to weather the gale.”
Early in his ministry, Spurgeon’s preaching became so famous that his church could not hold the crowds. So his congregation rented the Surrey Music House. The first night some hooligans yelled, “Fire!” Some in the crowd fled in panic, with seven dying and dozens injured. Spurgeon urged everyone to stay while he continued to preach, unaware that several people had already been crushed to death. Moments later, another panic arose. This time Spurgeon fainted and had to be carried away.
Experiencing guilt, and battered in the local press, Spurgeon plunged into depression. Susannah records their resultant mutual despair. “I wanted to be alone, that I might cry to God in this hour of darkness and death! When my beloved was brought home he looked a wreck of his former self—an hour’s agony of mind had changed his whole appearance and bearing. The night that ensued was one of weeping and wailing and indescribable sorrow. He refused to be comforted. I thought the morning would never break; and when it did come it brought no relief.”
The ensuing days were no better, as Susannah recounts. “The Lord has mercifully blotted out from my mind most of the details of the time of grief which followed when my beloved’s anguish was so deep and violent that reason seemed to totter in her throne, and we sometimes feared he would never preach again. It was truly ‘the valley of the shadow of death’ through which we then walked; and, like poor Christian, we here ‘sighed bitterly’ for the pathway was so dark that oft times when we lifted up our foot to set forward, we knew not where or upon what we should set it next.”
Susannah shares her account of her husband’s recovery. “We had been walking together as usual, he restless and anguished; I sorrowful and amazed, wondering what the end of these things would be; when at the foot of the steps which gave access to the house, he stopped suddenly, and turned to me, and, with the old sweet light in his eyes (ah! how grievous had been its absence!), he said, ‘Dearest, how foolish I have been! Why! what does it matter what becomes of me, if the Lord shall but be glorified? And he repeated with earnestness and intense emphasis, Philippians 2:9-11.” By an amazing inner working of the Holy Spirit, Spurgeon was able to take his eyes off his own agony, placing them instead on God’s glory.
Though Spurgeon began to recover his mental and spiritual equilibrium, upon his return to London even more critics wrote even more critical articles about him and his ministry. Spurgeon actually collected every critical article into a book, on the cover of which he wrote the title Fact, Fiction and Facetiae.
Of these, Susannah reflected years later: “At the time of their publication what a grievous affliction these slanders were to me. My heart alternatively sorrowed over him and flamed with indignation against his detractors.” Every ministry spouse can relate.
Caring deeply for her husband, Susannah set about the task of ministering to his soul.
“For a long time I wondered how I could set continual comfort before his eyes, till, at last, I hit upon the expedient of having the following verses printed in large old English type and enclosed in a pretty Oxford frame: “Blessed are ye when men shall revile you and persecute you and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely for my sake. Rejoice and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you”—Matthew 5:11-12. The text was hung up in our own room and was read over by the dear preacher every morning, fulfilling its purpose most blessedly, for it strengthened his heart and enabled him to buckle on the invisible armor, whereby he could calmly walk among men, unruffled by their calumnies, and concerned only for their best and highest interests.”
Amazing. What men meant for evil, God wove into good—through the good counsel of God’s good Word and a good spiritual director—Susannah Spurgeon.
3. Sacred Friendships examined the lives of women care-givers in the 19th and 20th centuries. Who stood out and what can we learn from these women heroes?
Catharine Brown was a Cherokee woman born around 1800. In her late teens, she learned about a school run by missionaries and asked her parents to let her go which they eventually did. When we read snippets of her writing or read what others had to say about her, we see an amazing young woman, humble beyond words, who loved and adored the Lord with every fiber of her being.
She loved her people as well and poured herself into her biological family and into the Cherokee nation, praying for them, ministering to them, being a godly example for them day in and day out, often at a great cost to her personal desires.
There’s no question that her life mattered. In the six short years between her conversion and her death she saw both parents, at least two brothers and a sister come to faith in Christ. And yet, if Rufus Anderson had not written a brief account of her conversion and short life no one today would ever have heard of her. As it is, I imagine very few people know anything about her.
That’s what’s so appealing about Catharine. Here was a woman who quietly committed herself to the Lord and lived for Him and those He put in her path. She wasn’t concerned about making a name for herself; in fact, she was quite embarrassed by the attention she did receive. She wasn’t looking for a more exciting ministry. She did what she could for the people in her life. She wasn’t waiting anxiously for the next book on spiritual disciplines to be published. She simply spent time with God. One day she became so engaged in prayer for her brother that the entire day passed without her realizing it until it became dark. We don’t have to be famous or do something with a huge wow-factor to matter and have impact. We just have to be intimately connected to God. The rest will follow.
Betsy ten Boom is another woman who stands out. Her situation is very different from Catharine’s. Betsy grew up in a devoutly Christian home and found herself, along with her very well-know sister, Corrie, plunged into dire circumstances. Most people know that Corrie and Betsy were held in Nazi prison camps because they were part of an underground network that helped Jews escape the Nazis.
Most of us are also familiar with The Hiding Place, written by Corrie after her release from the camps. Unfortunately, Betsy did not survive the camps, but we learn a lot about her from Corrie. As Corrie unfolds their story, it becomes very apparent that Betsy’s faith is extraordinary. While Corrie was a believer before their time in the camps, her faith faltered along the way and Betsy basically discipled her in the midst of their living hell. Sometimes she very tenderly and compassionately eased Corrie’s fears and sometimes she absolutely insisted that Corrie do the right thing, no matter how hard or inane it seemed. Corrie eventually took that faith whole-heartedly as her own and went on to live out a life of reconciliation.
Betsy is a great example of a prepared life. She took her faith and her relationship with the Lord seriously and internalized it in the ordinary routine of a simple life. It was that preparation that empowered her to keep loving, to care about her enemies, and to provide soul care and spiritual direction to her sister. Betsy never knew this side of heaven just how much God used her. It’s a good reminder that we don’t always get to choose our circumstances and we don’t always get to see the results of our ministry.
4. Tell us about your speaking, writing, and consulting through RPM Ministries.
Bob: I believe that most Christians care deeply, but struggle to speak the truth in love. RPM Ministries exists to equip lay people, pastors, educators, students, and Christian counselors to change lives with Christ’s changeless truth. We do so by speaking, writing, and consulting about Christ-centered, comprehensive, compassionate, and culturally-informed biblical counseling and spiritual formation.
Our passion is to empower the church and para-church to care like Christ. As a result, God’s people enter deeply into one another’s lives and make a significant different in the lives of hurting and hardened people.
RPM is our acrostic for Resurrection Power Multipliers. We based the concept upon Paul’s prayer in Philippians 3:10, “I want to know Christ and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His suffering.”
We want to raise up a new generation of biblical counselors and spiritual friends who live out 1 Thessalonians 2:8. “I loved you so much that I gave you not only the Scriptures, but my own soul, because you were dear to me.”
To learn more about RPM Ministries, please visit www.rpmministries.org.
5. How can people get in touch with you and how can they learn more about your ministry and about Sacred Friendships?
I can be contacted by email at: rpm.ministries@gmail.com
A free sample chapter of Sacred Friendships is available at: http://bit.ly/1S1haj
Sacred Friendships is on sale at 40% off for $12.99 at: http://bit.ly/MG1l5
To learn more about RPM Ministries, please visit: www.rpmministries.org
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One of the biggest complaints or concerns I come across as a nutritional consultant is “my child won’t eat that.” Let me give a few helpful tips, and yet some bold and obvious ones too.
1. Try putting veggies in things. And try them raw or “mostly raw”, we are going for the crunch factor here as my son calls it. “Mom, its not crunchy”. Chop the veggies you want and add them last to what you’re cooking. Enough to warm them, but not cook them. Ideas include scrambled eggs, omletes, soups, stirfry (do the meat and get it done, have the rice on standby and throw in the veggies) tuna salad, pasta salad, sauces such as spaghetti. If kids eat veggies crunchy all the time then handing them a carrot stick will soon be no big deal.
Interesting observation I’ve had with my children’s friends and veggies. They all prefer them raw. Who can blame them, I remember gagging on cooked spinich! Yikes. Raw is healthier! Have fun with it!
2. Plan your meals around the veggies not around the meat or starch. Veggie wraps or veggie sub sandwhiches are an example as well as those listed above.
3. Let them dip veggies in dressing, smother in sauces, pour on the salsa. Whatever gets them eating those veggies!
4. As the adult, remember who does the grocery shopping! This is one of the simplest factors into what your child eats. If its not purchased by you and brought home to the fridge, freezer, or pantry, there’s nothing to argue about. Mac and cheese for dinner every night? Not if there is none! They will eat when they are hungry.
5. So once we’ve addressed issue #4 and the food supply, the next issue is mom and/or dad don’t really want to change how they eat. But children do as we do, so we must set the example. Eating according to your old habits will now provide a great excuse for date night! 
6. Children learn what they like to eat from us as parents. Think about it. They start with formula as babies then progress to what we present on the spoon. The earlier you introduce the raw and healthy fruits and veggies and the longer you hold off on the fast food, refined sugar laden foods, the easier your battle. If youve already crossed that line, the younger your child is and you get back to basic nutrition, the shorter your battle will be– they will just grow up thinking this is how they always ate. Trust me,we started at 2 and 4. Our son doesn’t even remember there was a time when…..
Enjoy!
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